724. Why can’t they make plastic shower-curtain liners where the ends don’t fold in on themselves?
725. A shot that will make it so #724 doesn’t bother me so much
726. A pill that does the same as #725 for the weak of heart
And if you say, “what about those cloth shower-curtain liners?” I will slap you straight in the face.
You know just as well as I do that those things billow out and touch you just as you’re moving around to sculpt your perfectly-formed soul patch.
Creepy.