Author Archives: DAK

I saw a dead body last week. Not in a controlled situation like a funeral or an anatomy class. On the street. In the middle of the street, in fact, having previously been hit by a car driven by a … Continue reading →

Aaron: http://www.savagechickens.com/images/chickencommunication.jpgDavid: it would be like you if there were martini glasses and it said “I hate you”Aaron: i love to hate youDavid: song titleAaron: Loving you is easy ‘cus i hate your gutsAaron: do m do an doo dooDavid: … Continue reading →

I like to deliver unintentional soliloquies. I like that I stumbled on the correct spelling of “soliloquies” on the first try. I like to deliver unintentional soliloquies. More often than not, when in one-on-one conversations, I start to wax poetic … Continue reading →

I was confronted (accosted?) by one of the crazy homeless dudes in Venice/Marina del Rey this morning. I was sitting outside enjoying the sun when he parked his shopping cart at the end of the alley and stomped up to … Continue reading →

Typically, I’m funny on this blog. Maybe that’s a gross over-generalization along with a certain amount of overwhelming arrogance, so maybe I should instead say that typically, I try to be funny on this blog. Entertaining at least. Life is … Continue reading →

I know that this is specious logic, but my company adds a little environmental statement to the end of all of our emails. It’s a couple of carriage returns, the statement “Please think before you print”, and then a couple … Continue reading →

I need to murder my television. Some of you limp-wristed cheese-eaters would suggest that I simply unplug it, but pacifism is for the weak. I want the visceral sensation of cold delicious murder to thrill through my body. I mean … Continue reading →

I go to a lot of shows. I go to enough shows that I get the feeling that my hearing ain’t so great…which is ironic as that means that I won’t be able to enjoy said shows forever. But you … Continue reading →

have y’all heard of this “Twitter” thing? It’s cuh-raaazy! I just got used to the idea of “microwaves” cooking my food for me and now this? I kid. But as I was twittering, after being sucked into facebook for an … Continue reading →

From: Van Sent: Monday, March 16, 2009 3:44 AMTo: David KleemanSubject: Flight David, I’m probably going to miss my flight. I left my wallet at home and had to go back and retrieve it. So i will take the next … Continue reading →