Let me tell you about satisfaction (Which I demand, by the way… the satisfaction being that which I demand. Forget it). Satisfaction is growing something in your front 3’x10′ grassed in area yard successfully enough to actually get to eat it… like last night at 11:00 when ADG and I got home and did so. That’s satisfaction.

The fact that this level of defeat over Mother Nature should only come to me at the ripe old age of 28, somehow does not diminish the sweetness of my victory. Nor does the fact that, as a younger lad, I planted many a watermelon seed in the arid Texas ground, and “grafted” many a pine and citrus tree together with Scotch-tape in the wild of Southern California to no avail.

Not that I ever monitored them after setting them up for failure, of course; somehow I considered spitting watermelon seeds into the dirt in my backyard more than enough effort to produce stunning results.

But I digress. I have achieved victory, and it tastes… tomatoey.