The thing about places oter than California, you see, is that places other than California are cold this time of year. Granted, there are parts of California that get a little chilly, Mammoth for example; but that was by design. Ancient Californians piled the earth in great mounds with the thought that modern man would one day want to ski down it.

Same with the whole beach scene, incidentally. The Old Ones, when sad, would sprint to their created coast, so that there salted tears may fall into the sea, unwasted on dry land. And now I surf there, which is pretty cool.

But I digress. Virginia is cold, and it’s a weird thing. I didn’t have a white Christmas, but almost might as well have been.