My hotel room has four phones; three within 10 feet of each other, and one in the bathroom, which is pretty key. Unfortunately, there is not one within arm reach if I were to take a bath in the huge tub. I’m covered if I’m in the shower, but, if I’m in the tub I might miss a call.

How could they let this happen?!

You know what is within reach if I’m in the tub? A dial with numbers from 0-3 that says “Attenuator”. Attenu-what? According to dictionary.com an attenuator is:

A device that attenuates an electrical signal

Using my vast vocabulary, I take that to mean that as I turn the dial up, it lowers the amps traveling through the… what? I don’t know.

Perhaps the idea is to lower or increase the voltage for those appliances from Slovakia and Lithuphlopanvania. Although, I highly question the usefulness of saying, “Ooh, vas es too much electric power, I should turn von attenuator to three.”

Curiouser and curiouser.