The trick, you see, is to obstinately believe that you did not, in fact, deserve a parking ticket, and you are therefore not, in fact, paying it. Hold on to this belief when you write the letter to the City of Los Angeles, Parking Violations Bureau stating your innocence, and strictly detailing the ways and means by which you intend not to pay the $45.00 fine.

Continue to hold on to this belief as (despite your obvious lack of guilt) your first Notice of Delinquent Parking Violation comes in the mail; though followed tantalizingly close by another notice from The City of Los Angeles explaining that your inquiry into your citation has been received, is being reviewed, and any subsequent actions will be notified to you by mail.

Continue to continue holding on to the strong and fervent belief in your own overwhelming innocence when your second Notice of Delinquent Status arrives detailing in bold, underlined word how, in addition to your original fine, there is also a penalty and a collection fee accruing against you to the tune of $110.00.

At this point, wait one month. See the countryside. Read a book. Take in a play.

…

Steeled with icy resolve and continuing firm belief in your own innocence, contact the Parking Violations Bureau to complain of a number of wasteful and incorrect notices that have been clogging up your mailbox as of late. Before you can let fly your easily understandable, and logically outlined points, listen happily as the beleaguered and obviously defeated person on the other end of the phone tells you that your citation has, in fact, been suspend, and please have a nice day.
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Which I will, by God, if only just to spite them.
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