Today’s News Headlines That Made Me Laugh

George Michael: I quit pop music
Really, George? Really? That’s like my usual response to people asking, “What happened to XXXXX?” (where “XXXXX” is the girl I had been dating at the time):
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“Oh, ummm… we made the mutual decision to stop seeing each other.”
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Which of course really means, “Oh, ummm… she dumped me when I found out she was sleeping with someone else.”
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Vatican offers exorcism courses
From the article:

In 1999, the Vatican issued its first new guidelines since 1614 for driving out devils, offering cautions to exorcists about taking psychiatric problems into account.

The updated exorcism rite, first issued in Latin and contained in a red, leather-bound book, was a reflection of Pope John Paul II’s efforts to convince the skeptical that the devil is very much in the world. At the time, he gave a series of homilies denouncing the devil as a “cosmic liar and murderer.”

Hmmm, the Church issues guidelines about the scary devil in 1614, and the Inquisition threatens to destroy Galileo for his crazy defense of the Copernican thoery that the Earth isn’t actually the center of the universe in 1616. Yeah, that whole religion thing really sounds like something I want to get behind. As long as I’m getting all of my facts from 400 year old craziness, I might want to check this out, too.