You know that old high-speed internet commercial that uses that old high-speed internet joke, where the idea is that you can now surf the net so fast that you’ll be “done” with the internet in no time? And the husband is clicking and clicking along, with interest, and then he gives one final heavy, foreboding click? The camera switches to a view over his shoulder where see that displayed on his monitor is a message saying something to the effect of, “You have now reached the end of the internet. Please log off. Thank you”. Or some other hilarious shit like that? You know the one.

Well, I’ve been surfing this wild and hairy internet for something like 10+ years now and I can tell you this much: I haven’t even gotten close to getting to the end of the internet porn section… let alone anything about history, or mathematics, or engineering, or whatever the hell else other people like christian conservatives, george dubya, and 4th grade school teachers search the internet for.

And we’re talking about fairly standard boy-girl, girl-girl porn here; I haven’t even begun to get to the weird freak crap you hear about in penthouse letters, or anything of that chick in Mexico with the horse that your buddy told you about. Standard porn and it’s already endless.

There’s a philosophy that if something is beyond the scope of your own human understanding then effectively, it doesn’t exist. And so, seeing as I can’t even see the far away misty end to the vastness of the porn internet world, I have to assume the rest of the internets are similarly vast… and therefore endless.

That ad was such bullshit.