I paid my outrageous rent for the first time since the fire, today; and, what with all of the torrential rains lately, it’s a little hard to remember why I love living here so much.

Seriously, though, if you knew how much I paid in just rent (not including gas, water, electricity, the internets, and satellite), you’d call me crazy. You’d be right, of course, but it’s not because of the rent I pay.

It’s because of the other stuff.

But then I remember that people like Jessica Alba live here in LA. Which means, of course, that I have a marginally better chance of meeting and falling in love with her than you do, Jake Grogan from Fairdale Kentucky who visited my page at 7:06:30PM on 04.06.30 while searching for the word “obese” using Google.

This is what you found, by the way. Charming.

Jessica just successfully got an apology from Mr. Hefner for using her picture on the cover of Playboy… implying that she was naked inside when she wasn’t.

Personally, I think I should be the one getting the apology because I did think she was going to be naked inside and she wasn’t. I’ve not been so let down since Lindsay Lohan was over and she got naked. *ba-dum-dum-CHING!*

So yeah, a lot of money in rent.