I saw The Raconteurs at The Wiltern on Friday.

Kelley Stoltz opened and, despite the fact that he and his band were technically good, they really just pretty much sucked. I’m not sure what it was, because I think it’s the kind of music that I would have liked if I was in a different mood, but I just couldn’t wait for them to get off the f’ing stage. And I was not alone, pretty much everyone within earshot was heavy into the sarcastic clap, and the near-standing ovation they got at the end of their set was more a function of everyone trying to encourage them to get the fuck out the way, than it was a celebration of the music.

There was another, much better, opening band before Stoltz who, despite my being internets savvy, I can’t for the life of me find the name of. Basically, it was a guy on a guitar, and a completely seductive girl with incredible… stage presence… that sang. She was totally approachable after the show, but I had plans to meet the Thai Singer at The Blu Monkey and definitely didn’t want to miss that.

Oh, and The Raconteurs? Pretty good. I know that if it’s too loud you’re too old, but the first song completely blew my ears out to the point that I was whimpering pathetically, and mewing like a kitten.

Wow, I am a master of the simile.

At any rate, they were so loud that you couldn’t make out the singing over the cracking of the blown-out speakers, and the vocal force made the drunk 16 year-old behind me puke on his shoes (as oppossed, thankfully, to my back). It got better, though, and I’ll check them out a little more closely based on the show. Oh, and they did a cover of Gnarls Barkley’s Crazy as an encore, which was awesome.

Also, if you’re a waitress and you mishear my “Jack and Coke” order as “Jack and Gin”, and then bring it to my with a straight face… well, then just high-5’s all around ’cause you’re the king, baby.

[UPDATE] The alluring singer/guitar player duo was apparently Jonneine Zapata, whose bandwith is exceeded but will always have a place in my heart.