There’s a lot of talk about the difference between men and women. Men are from Mars and women are from Hoboken or something. One is the fairer sex and the better half, and the other is a walking ape, etc. etc. I don’t really know what all the fuss is about, as it’s really quite simple: women are gorgeous, and men are disgusting. There! Was that really so hard?

For those that need more proof, I offer you this:

Men are the delivery guys.

I don’t mean mail carriers or pizza delivery dudes (My friends still remember that one fateful night when the hot pizza delivery girl appeared at my door. It is now my theory that they send her out on first deliveries only, thereby hooking the household to perpetual repeat business in hopes of seeing her again (as we have).

I got side-tracked.

I mean serious delivery guys. The ones transporting heavy machinery, pallets full of anything, or appliances. They are all, to a man, err men.

I thought of this on my drive home from work today. I was early because I had to meet one such delivery person between the hours of 11 and 3. He (or she) was to deliver my new washer/dryer combo replacing the one I lost in the fire. As expected, it was a dude.

And I, for one, think that’s perfectly OK. Do I think women couldn’t do the job? Hell no… but they’re too smart to. And good for them. We, the disgusting men of the world, deserve to be beasts of burden. And the ladeez? Well the ladeez deserve something much better (were you thinking “strippers” when you read that like I was? Awesome).