I just had the raddest conversation with my friend Jules, who I’m reasonably sure pleaseohpleaseohplease doesn’t read my blog.

ring ring

me: Hello?

Jules: Daaaaaave!

me: What’s up?

Jules: You know that guy I’m dating?

me: Yeah?

Jules: Well, it’s going OK, but the problem is…

me: He’s not me?

Jules: Ha! Well sorta, but there’s something else [whispers] his, uh, thing is kinda small!

me: a-ha…a-HA… A-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Jules: Daaaave!

me: So…how small are we talking about?

Jules: Well, it’s not that small, I think it’s probably normal..it’s just that S was so big

me: So how long?

Jules: Well, normal…what’s normal?

me: I ain’t sayin’ anything until I hear what you say.

Jules: Like 5-6 inches

me: Ah, hehe, that’s not awful…

Jules: I think it’s more the thickness, though…

me: So what are we looking at? A quarter?

Jules: No, bigger than that

me: Umm, half-dollar?

Jules: Um, yeah! About the size of a half-dollar! hehe

me: A-HAHAHAHA!

Jules: A half-dollar Dave! hehehehe

me: A-HAHAHA ‹teasing singsong›Your boyfriend’s a half-dollar! Your boyfriend’s a half-dollar!‹/teasing singsong›