I haven’t been to KFC for something like 10 years, but I broke my streak tonight. You know, because I was jonesing. It’s been so long that I don’t even know how to order there anymore, and was a little surprised to see that those red and white boxes have been replaced by some sort of platter apparatus. At least, I don’t think you can get those boxes anymore; like I said, I don’t know what I’m doing.

At any rate, you know what I love about KFC? You can eat everything… everything. Meat, bones, gristle… whatever! It all tastes the same: extra crispy. Yes, it tastes exactly like extra crispy… except for when it tastes like original formula.

So you can eat everything, and it must have something to do with the so-called “cooking” process. There must be something about throwing quivering flesh into boiling oil for several minutes that renders all substances into one new homogenous glob of extra crispy goodness.

By the way, did you know that KFC had a website? Of course you assumed there was, but have you ever actually visited? Let’s just say, titling something “Nutritional Info” may be an obscene bit of artistic license. There’s no punch-line to that, I just think it’s interesting that my fast-food choices have engaging web presences.

So think about KFC for a bit. I wager the meat-eaters among you will be visiting in less than a week. There’s just something about the Colonel, don’t you know.