There are many positive and engaging reasons to live in California. One is the fact that within a radius of 200 miles you can find beach, rivers, and mountains to sate any outdoor desire at almost any time of the year.

One notable negative to this attractive fact is the taking of 7.5 HOURS to drive that 200 miles.

7.5 hours to drive from New Years in Tahoe to almost The Day After New Years in Santa Clara. 7.5 hours. The same 7.5 hours that it took my friends to drive the 400 miles from Sacramento to LA, having left earlier in the day. Urge to kill… rising.

Here, by the way, is a bit of advice for any and all drivers out there: when creeping along on a mountainous two-lane highway in bumper to bumper traffic, it does not help situations to take advantage when the highway temporarily opens up to two lanes for passing. You see, what you have then is another created bottle-neck, ’cause we all just have to merge back together in a quarter mile… you stupidfuckingidiots! As the clogged artery of our roadway trumbles on, there are massive clogs every four miles, induced by the great quantity of jackasses of the opinion that they will somehow gain immeasurable advantage by passing the car in front of them… at 2mph.

Or, in enginerd-speak, the increased velocity associated with a venturi only works with fluids, not cars.

calm cleansing breath calm cleansing breath.

To be honest, though, being in a car with ADG for 7.5 hours is actually a pleasure, and I therefore offer the above advice only as observational.

Number of guys seen to run over to the side of the road to pee: 3
Number of times ADG almost followed suit if it weren’t for lack of cover: 3
Number of times Dave inwardly thought to himself, ‘guys are awesome’: 15