Noah’s Bagels is celebrating Valentine’s Day in a grand way with their Valentine’s Bagel Box. For only $14.99, you get one dozen heart shaped bagels and two shmears, delivered in a standard long-stemmed roses box.

In a a long-stemmed roses box.

Scene: A typical office. Two women are working in adjoining cubes when a delivery man enters.
Delivery Guy: I got a package for a Jill Evans…
Jill: I’m Jill Evans!
DG: Here you go (hands Jill a long-stemmed roses box and exits)
Stephanie: Oooh girl! You’re so lucky, Bob sent you flowers!
JE: I am lucky, Steph! See? This is the romantic stuff I was telling you about that no one ever sees. Bob is the best man in the world!
S: Read the card!
JE: (reads aloud) “Baby, you’re my one and only. You stole my heart like a runner steals second. Your cinnamon-raisin lover, Bob”
Together: Ahhhh.
S: Open it! Open it!
JE: I’m so excited! (opens box)
sound from nowhere: wah-waaaaah