As widely reported here at various intervals, I am lately suffering the addictive effects of massive crossword puzzle dementia. It’s 3:15 in the morning, and I’m trying to do the New York Times crossword puzzle. “It’ll help me sleep,” I say. Like hell. I’ve failed miserably by the way.

Not widely reported here, as in not ever to my recollection, is that: I have suffered from insomnia for many years. Not movie-insomnia, mind you, where I stay up into the morning inventing fission reactors furiously by candlelight. Normal insomnia where it takes me a long time to fall asleep, I wake up often, and sometimes the whole sleep thing doesn’t work out enough to prevent me from trying to do crossword puzzles at now 3:19 in the morning.

This is not the point.

The point is, that on the same page that links to the day’s crossword puzzle…

[tangent] How many of you, by the way, assumed I meant the online version, as opposed to the print one, when I said, “I’m trying to do the New York Times crossword puzzle”? I wager, most likely incorrectly, that it breaks down by age. All zero of you reading this over 40 maybe think “PRINT”; whereas you non-existent, techno-savvy, 20 year-old cam girls think “ONLINE”. That is not, to say that techno-savvy, 20 year old cam girls do not exist. That is to say that they do not exist…here

…is a link to the 26th Annual American Crossword Puzzle Tournament. Under this link, amongst the abstract describing what I might find should I click the link above, is another link. This one saying, Video Highlights from Last Years Events…
The sum-total amount of complete and utter abject horror I find at the very idea of the existence of such information is far far beond my ability to describe. I shudder to think of clicking it.