Wow. Go here and take a look at my post from 02.23.2003. Or better, yet, I'll just re-create it here:

I just spent $27 on a tank-full of regular 87 octane gas. Thank you, President Bush.

ah-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

If I may, I'd like to update it for the present day, a mere 5 years later:

I just spent $75 on a tank-full of regular 87 octane gas. Fuck YOU, President Bush.

And because I'm a dork, that equates to:
.: $48 increase in just over 5 years
.: roughly $9.00 per year
.: $0.75 per month! (accounting exactly for the 64 months it's been since that first post)

Imagine if your precious Big Mac (which I think is about $3.50USD these days) rose $0.75 every month, America. That baby would be $8 by Christmas! [OK, so that's not a strictly fair analogy...but it IS exciting and inflammatory, right? Just like Fox News!]
22:02 Comments []

Every 6 months or so I get an over-whelming craving for a hard-boiled egg. I don't know why, it's just one of those things. Well, actually this time I do know why. I was reading Bukowski and he said:

I finished my beer, got up and found a bottle of vodka, one of scotch and sat down again. I mixed them with water; I smoked cigars, and ate beef jerky, chips, and hard-boiled eggs.

What? Doesn't that make you want a hard-boiled egg?

At any rate, I never remember how long to boil the things so I always have to look it up. One "recipe" (it's boiling water for chrissakes) said to add salt to the water towards the end of the cooking process, which will apparently help the egg to be easier to peel. To which I say:

what the fuck? Who the hell has trouble peeling a hard-boiled egg?!
23:56 Comments []

As you know, LA is the center off all that is good and holy. It is also, coincidentally, fairly close to the center of all that is terrible and sinful. The number one reason for this high ranking is the fact that LA is, without exception, a car town. A massive, massive car town.

People who complain that there is no public-transit in LA are wrong. There's a pretty well-developed bus system and even a slightly convenient metro that no one I've ever met has been on [TANGENT: the LA Metro gets a bad-rap from the NoCal San Francisco crowd because they have their very popular BART rail-system. Well the LA Metro may be pretty small, but the BART ain't no picnic, either. The damn thing doesn't even go all the way around the bay! But I digress...].

So we have the buses and the metro, but the problem isn't the system's themselves, it's that LA is so damn big! Taking the bus to work would be, for me, close to 2 hours...where it takes me 35-40 minutes to drive and 55 to ride my bike. Nuts to that! And, now that gas is so expensive ($4.60 at my local station you mid-western bastards!), the $75 I pay to fill up my tank every other week is really starting to hurt.

And SO, to bring it full circle, to watch a guy walk slowly by while carrying a walker as I sat stuck in traffic...well that was just pretty lame.

21:32 Comments []

As in relationships, as in life, communication is key. So many hardships, break-ups, hurt feelings, deaths, and basic misunderstandings come from just. not. communicating effectively. Therefore, and on that note...what the fuck?:
This "helpful" sign is in the already bewildering and slight horrible parking lot of the Whole Foods in Hollywood. And the great thing is, there's half a dozen of them.

I stared at this sign for a good full minute trying to understand it. "I can go right which is not actually right, or I can go left which is not actually left?" I took this picture, examined it later, and still am at a loss.

Is it a question? Is it asking me to tell it which is what?

Is it a philosophical statement? Whichever way you turn, you are where you are. Life is a highway. I want to ride it. All night long.

Is it The Scarecrow's stand-in? (...I'm a little ridiculously proud of that one)

23:46 Comments []

What are we doing in America? I mean, haven't we messed up the world-stage enough in the last decade or so? Look, we had a good run. We did some good stuff. Stopping the Nazis was pretty big, giving Einstein a safe haven was a crown jewel, ending slavery was a good one...but now look at what we're doing: With the exception of The Office, none of these British shows that get ported over to the US market are ever any good!

Seriously.

Look at these:
.: Who's Line Is It Anyway? - Funny, but not as funny.
.: Coupling - Disaster
.: Iron Chef - This show is "ok", but it's the god-damned Bobby Flay Hour almost every episode. Don't get me wrong, I love Flay, but show me some ol' skool Morimoto for chrissakes. Oh, and the dubbing in the original is hilarious.
.: Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares - The stress from the whole thing came from the fact that they were already way in debt and were about to go under. In the US version of this great show, suddenly Ramsay's "design team" swoops in, throws money all over the place, and gives the restaurant a complete makeover. The only "stress" comes from all these American douchebags yelling at each other. Bleh.
.: Top Gear - There has been a long-rumored US-version of this brilliant show apparently in the works for some time now. I beseech, to all that is good and holy, please don't fuck this one up, too, America.

I believe that children are our future.
14:02 Comments []

My Memorial Day Weekend, in Quantities

(1) badly sliced thumb that now has an interesting chunk taken out of it
(1) canceled-at-the-last-minute trip to Seattle
(2) missed BBQ's due to,
(4) days of being sick
(3) rolls of toilet paper as Kleenex substitute
(a billion) hours of playing GTA IV
21:13 Comments []

LA is selling a lot of BMW's, lately. 3 people at work have gotten BMW's within the last 6 months. On my way in this morning, I saw one new 3-series and two brand new 5-series (series's? serieses? serii?)...one of which that had made the exceedingly poor decision of replacing the standard blue and white BMW badge with a custom pink and white one.

See? Because it's a girl driving! So, it's pink. Get it? Girl power! Because girls like pink! Oh, it's so cheeky!

What ever happened to the good ol' Trans AM?
10:17 Comments []

You forget that you're a dork (and even start to think that you're actually kind of cool and always have been), until you're explaining in great and thorough detail who Colonel Nick Fury is and his relationship to Iron Man on the way back to the parking structure.
23:45 Comments []

You know the Google search box on Firefox? Of course you do because you're internet-savvy. You ain't no luddite, you. You're not using Internet Explorer like a douche, you're all about Firefox...or at least Opera.

I've decided to start leaving clues to myself via the Google search box. The thing is, because it's a mystery, I have no idea what the clues are to...but I hope to be able to figure it out eventually.

Anyway, I've started leaving these clues for me to find the next time I open up my laptop. Today's clue was ROASTED POTATOES. Yesterday was FACE CLEAVAGE.

I think it's a murder mystery.
10:24 Comments []

I really need to get my life in order. More often than not, I come home, turn on the TV, and then just space out until I'm too tired to keep my eyes open. This is not something that I would usually do. Usually, I would come home, turn on the TV, and then DO something until I'm too tired to keep my eyes open. There's a subtle, yet important difference.

Part of the problem is the shambles that is my personal life has left me feeling very listless. I go in spurts of going out a lot (and by "a lot", I mean like 5 times a week), followed by a couple of weeks of keeping my head down and not answering the phone, and then back to going out a lot. All of it is empty and meaningless, however, which leaves me feeling even more listless, and killing small parts of what little is left of my soul.

Bart, Pablo Neruda said, "Laughter is the language of the soul."
I am familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda.

I'm having trouble focusing on the things that I should be doing...other than work, that is. I'm putting in a good 50 hours/week at work for whatever that's really worth (other than distracting me, which is partially the point). So I'm thinking I need to get back into the habit of making Lists.

Lists are not something that you just enter into willy-nilly (yes, I went there), however. There are rules. Coincidentally, these rules are also in list-form"

Rules for Lists

1. Lists must have nearly achievable goals. CLEAN-OUT GARAGE is acceptable. SLEEP WITH JESSICA ALBA PRE-PREGNANCY is not.
2. Lists may not contain minutiae. Things like BREATHE and FANTASIZE ABOUT JESSICA ALBA PRE-PREGNANCY are inevitable and near-constant. Therefore, they are not List-worthy
3. Lists must have ringers. Despite Rule #2, there should be a few things on the list that are semi-easily achievable. This will give you a sense of accomplishment and bolster you to tackle some of the harder items. GET HAIRCUT is a popular choice.
4. Lists must contain no more than 10 active items at one time. Because really, if you have more than 10 things on your List, what are you dicking around writing lists for?

So, in my case, other than FIND WOMAN OF DREAMS, LIVE HAPPILY EVER-AFTER I have a number of things that I really should be doing these days. Not least of which is writing on this blog more often. It at least helps to keep my brain from drying out.

Mostly.
00:01 Comments []